dead ivy

Slo-No-Mo

2011-04-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

Even with weeks to plan, the Cubbies stuck to their line and trotted out another company man to sing the stretch. Cubs television play-by-play announcer, Len Kasper, flexed his velvet pipes from Sheffield to Waveland with a pitch-perfect but very slow rendition of the 7th inning classic.

It was a nice welcome back to Wrigley after the long road trip and getting a sure thing for the stretch was a good plan. Kasper delivered, giving a slow, deliberate, pitch-perfect recital.

He shared the glory, letting the fans sing "One, Two, Three Strikes Yer Out" and hit all the key parts with the comfortable consistency you'd expect from someone who has heard every stretch since 2005.

His slow cadence was an exact duplicate of the game it serenaded - a 0-0 sleeper on a cold, Chicago day that saw many would-be homeruns get knocked down by the frigid air. Even the normally reserved Carlos Pena had a rare burst of emotion after his would have been walk-off homer fell just short of the wall with two-outs in the ninth.

Len notably finished with "Let's get A run! Go Cubbies!" emphasizing the "A" instead of the customary, "Let's get SOME runs." This meager request coupled with his steady, error-free overture gave him his wish.

It was so well-sung, in fact, that the Cub's only and winning run came as a result of catcher Giovanni Soto beating out a double play ball due to a defensive bobble. This was followed by a Tyler Colvin double that got him all the way home from first. Soto is not a fast guy by anyone's reckoning but it was the trundling catcher who won the plodding game, not with his arm but with his legs - twice in two plays.

Now that is some play-by-play mojo. Thanks Len.

Fan-dumb

2011-04-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

Stacey King - Bulls broadcaster and horrible singer - stretched the Cubbies out today and admitted to never having attended a Cubs game in 20 years of living in Chi-town. What a fan.

I guess the Ricketts want to wring a little bandwagon love out of the Bulls playoff run but finding the one available bulls guy who hadn't ever been to a Cubs game is weak sauce.

And if you don't care about fandom, at least get a good singer in there. 0 for 2. My eardrums still hurt. He just yelled into the mic with no decipherable melody.

O.k., maybe he's a Sox fan. I mean, we had a D-bags fan in there yesterday, why not just a baseball fan who knows the song and can pull it off regardless of musical ability. But no. We got our first triple play.

Not a Cubs fan, can't sing, doesn't even know the words to the song.

And it wasn't some un-important part of the song either. He blew the most important part. "Root, Root, Root for the Cuh-Bees" became "One, Two, Three for the Cubbies!" and it immediately spelled doom.

Nothing but errors, Cubs left on base and opposing home runs came after the flub. The game in general was all run-saving plays by the D-bags and run-costing mistakes by the Cubs, leading to another loss we could've had.

He did say compel the Cubs to get some runs and said "Give me the hot sauce!" before he graciously gave up the mic and this most-likely resulted in a Alphonso Soriano home run. Which was nice but not enough.

The Cubs have a long road stand the next few weeks and hopefully they will take the time to get some actual fans with talent lined up for future stretching. At least get someone interesting in there, show us your trying.

See you in a week or so.

Grace is gone

2011-04-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

Mark Grace, heart of the many Cub teams he was apart of in his Chicago tenure, sang the stretch today at Wrigley and cut my heart out.

As all Cub fans know and what truly makes the "Take me out ..." song during the seventh-inning stretch the Cub's own, is the changing of the words "Home Team" to "Cub-Bees." It is as essential to the Cubs as pinstripes and ivy, Old Style and losing. It is the American flag lapel pin of sports. It shows your allegiance to the team and fans and is always, ALWAYS required. It may be contractually obligated for would-be stretch singers.

If there were a list of 5 people in this world who know this unequivocal fact, Mark Grace would be 3 of those people.

Yes, Mark Grace is an EX-Cub. All the good ones since 1980 are. Dawson, Maddux, Eckersley, Wood, Sosa. (Note: Mr. Company Man Sandberg is the only one I can think of who didn't leave.) Yes, Grace won a World Series with Arizona and now he's the tv color man but if I thought he still had some ivy in him.

As a song itself it was beautiful. The man knows his "Take me out to the ball game." Perfect rhythm. Perfect pitch. Perfect cadence. Right in time with the music. The excitement mounted as I wondered if he would move through "Cub-bees" smooth and comfortable like an old leather chair, or blow my eardrums of anticipation with a barrel-chested "CA-HUUUBBB-BEEEEEES" bringing the wrigley crowd to a frenzy and a tear to my eye.

I felt the soft "Huh" sound slip into my soul, nearly undetected. Momentary confusion was severely removed by the hard steel of betrayal, sliding between my shoulder blades and firmly into my heart.

"Ooome Team" finished the blow. Loud and sure. Not even a hint of regret in his dead eyes. As he wiped the blood of the knife he said, "Kerry Wood, welcome back," as if to say to his old teammate - "Sucker! Want to see my ring?"

I want to say the fans immediately dropped their beers and charged to the booth to carry out retribution on this traitorous son but they just took another sip. I at least expected my beloved spokesman Pat Hughes to decry the hateful deed but not a word. I haven't missed Ron Santo or Harry Carey more than at this moment.

At least the Cubs didn't let me down and have given me a renewed hope in this ramshackle team. They responded immediately with two runs for the lead and, though giving one back to the D-bags in the ninth, scrapped their way through to assure the victory and the series win.

The game-ending strike out came like a triage plasma bag, jerking me back from the light. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. How strong remains to be seen but I have renewed hope for this team. Goodbye mr. grace ... and watch your back.

Moreland, Cubs crack but hold

2011-04-04T14:24:00.001-07:00

Going booth after only four games, the cubs marketing brass tapped new Cubs radio color man and Ron Santo replacement to stretch today. As a color man, Keith Moreland continues in the Santo tradition of ex-Cub players and was a catcher at Wrigley for 6 of his 12 major league years. The time at the Friendly Confines must have paid off as he actually sounded pretty good singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

A hard emphasis on both the first and second "Take" got the rendition out to a very harsh, staccato start but Moreland evened it out for a well-tempoed, sing-songy rendition. However, a slight voice crack on "Cub-bies" foretold of pain to come.
But no reference to Ron Santo during the stretch and a straight-forward finish of "Let's get some runs!" at the end, along with a solid tune throughout made this a very workmanlike effort. A well-played opening stint by Moreland.

So we had No Santo, a hard start, a slightly cracked "Cub-bies" but overall a good tempo, an even voice throughout and a strong ending.

The game mimicked Moreland's tune with a D-bags homer to start the game and some cracking in the eighth when SS Starlin Castro took his time with a routine grounder and had to hurry a throw to first, letting a D-bag on with one out. Two more D-bags got on base before Kerry Wood - who is no stranger to stretch-jinx - recovered and ended strong, holding onto the one-run lead with a clutch, danger-ending strike out and a harmless fly ball.

The strong finish in the stretch meant a strong end to the game as the Cubs got some long doubles in their half of the eighth and held the D-Bags off the boards for a good win.

Noteworthy,
- One topic of choice in the booth was - surprisingly - other Montana-players besides D-bags pitcher Kam Mickolio who is from Wolf Point, Montana. Pat actually listed off 5 other players from Montana and there was talk of a wolf-coat to end the bizarre exchange.
- Starlin Castro shared the NL player of the week. What a stud.
- Mark Grace, ex Cubbie and current D-bags announcer and my long-time favorite player will be signing the Stretch tomorrow. Can't wait to see if he says "Cubbies" ...

Un Poe-etic Finish?

2011-04-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

We dipped into the Wrigley star bucket again today with John Cusack leading the charge. He brought his young nephew and gave a very solid duet rendition.

No surprise there as Cusack has stretched with the Cubs at least 10 times so knows what to do - plus he's an actor and I think they all have to be able to sing, just in case a musical breaks out. I guess Johnny is promoting his Edgar Allen Poe bio pic about the last four mysterious days of Poe's life and what better modern-day romantic pessimist than Cusack for that job.

He also invoked Ron Santo at the beginning of the song and ended with a "Let's go Cubbies!" then tossed his hat to the crowd. So we've got a Santo, a duet, a movie star and a hat toss.

This paid immediate dividends with a great inning-ending throw out at home in the eighth by Tyler Colvin on a fly ball to right but couldn't keep the defense going in the 9th where some suspect glove work gave the Pirates back the lead and the Cubs the loss.

I couldn't tell but I assume whoever caught the hat Cusack tossed bobbled it, thus ensuring some upcoming defensive bobbles.

The Pirates had 16 hits but almost all were singles and most were dinks or dunks and a lot could have been outs. There were a bunch to right field, especially past Pena while he was holding someone on. Also, the Cubs had two balls off the top of the wall so close to the basket I don't know how they didn't get out. I guess Cusack is bad luck.

BTW - This day in Cubs history they traded away Dennis Eckersley. Thanks for bringing that up. Do the Cubs have any positive memories queued up for these ? Do they have ANY positive memories? I'm beginning to wonder.

Guilt-trips to Canada

2011-04-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

I learned four things in today's stretch. I will list them in order of growing incredulation.

Fergie Jenkins is Canadian and has a stamp.

His mother's family came to Canada on the underground railroad?

He played for the Harlem Globetrotters?!?

The Cubs CAN hit with runners in scoring position!?!?

Fergie's song itself was well sung but in stumbling around some of the words, it almost seemed like he didn't know this canon of Cubs lore by heart - as if he were a Canadian tasked with singing the American national anthem. Fergie pronounced "Cubbies" like "Cu-Hubbies." It threw me off.

After the song, he pleaded "Come on guys, let's get motivated here! Let's get motivated! Score some runs! Let's Go!"

This double call to get motivated seemed a bit needy but the guilt trip by a Cub HOF-er (and the only Canadian in the HOF) seemed to work. The Cubs ripped off 5 runs in the 8th with timely walks and doubles and earned their first win. We'll see if the guilt trip works in the future but for now we'll list it as "known to be effective" and worth at least 2-4 late runs.

Side note - Apparently today was the 8th anniversary of Ron Santo accidentally catching his hairpiece on fire while leaning too close to a heater in the booth during the national anthem. Ironically, Al Leiter was pitching against the Cubs that night. Pat Hughes ended the tale with "... could have happened to anybody ..."
Highly inaccurate and also hilarious.

Opening Day!

2011-04-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

Let me be clear, I'm a cubs fan and by no means a writer. I don't have a particularly compelling point of view or have any access to special stats or quotes.

I do listen to most Cubs games on the radio and what I will do is update this blog with the happenings of the seventh-inning stretch and the singing that accompanies it under the auspices that what happens during that sacred moment will predict what happens in the innings surrounding it.

For opening day, the brass brought in Ron Santo's kids to lead the crowd in the now-famous Wrigley rendition. As most of you know, Ron was the Cubs radio announcer until he passed away this year.

The Cubs are unveiling a statue of him later this year so his kids were there to promote that a little and generally just talk about Ron in a nice gesture.

We got some good Ron Santo "take me out to the Ballgame" memories, including the time he sang loud and proud thinking the PA system was on but instead of gracing the sellout Wrigley crowd with his rendition, it was only the people in the booth that heard him.

Ron's co-announcer Pat Hughes - as he said he did each and every time Ron sang - assured Ron that it was his best one yet.

The actual anthem singing, though hyped in the pre-singing interview, was anything but, mirroring the start of the new Cubby season.

Santos daughter took over the mic in a loud and off-key way and ended the affair with the statement "Let's make it the year" or something to that effect. it was so non-committal, I half expected to hear a "maybe see if we can try to" before the "make".

After the stretch, the Cubs responded by getting a run at the bottom of the seventh but just like the anthem - came up a little short.

Dempster was going well until the 5th when he walked two and gave up a grand slam with two outs. The Cubs hit fairly well but didn't put the game away when they had the early opportunities. They didn't give up though this was the Pirates.

2010-04-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

left field outs transform
a long swing short on long hits
double the trouble

Astros 4, Cubs 3

2010-04-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

on the dirt pulpit
manifest vindication
for grade-school mistakes

Atros 2, Cubs 7

2010-04-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

back and forth leads sway
out-blowing wind falls short
of miscue cure all

Brewers 8, Cubs 6

2010-04-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

silence chased away
the joy catching the despair
the riot begins

Brewers 6, Cubs 7

2010-04-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

souvenirs rain down
dented Waveland hope takes flight
is it all thumbs up?

Brewers 5, Cubs 9

2010-04-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

gray surround the mound
in a fundamental fog
eight Cubs left on base

Cubs 1, Reds 3

2010-04-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

seven strong from Z
secured by long ball flurry
basepath errs don't haunt

Cubs 4, Reds 3

2010-04-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

sterling Silva start
tarnished by walk, walk, grandslam
four runs fall short

Cubs 4, Reds 5

2010-04-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hope springs eternal
as new Cubs carry the load
all stars disappoint

Cubs 2, Braves 0

2010-04-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

Rust-covered defense
turns three-one fastball into
losing souvenir

Cubs 2, Braves 3

2010-04-06T00:45:00.000-07:00

Zambrano's rage waits
as runs grow like summer grass
on pre-season hopes

Seven hundred and
fifty six Bentlys or get
one Soriano?

Cubs 5, Braves 16

Big Z, out for at least 2 starts

2009-05-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Apparently Z has a "Grade 2 tear in the belly of [his hamstring]" caused when he tried to move his other belly up the first base line to leg out a bunt against the the Marlins Sunday.

And I say, good for him! So he got hurt running. Apparently our marquee players can't run to first base (or third base, Milton) without pulling something, but at least they were trying.

Instead, let's take a long hard look at the Cubs' trainers and how they get the team ready for games and assess injuries. For pete's sake, the head trainer went out to talk to Z after Zambrano told 1st base coach Sinatro that he tweaked something. Good. But then the trainer let Z talk him into leaving him in there. Sweet Lou had to come out and order him into the dugout. Now Z is out for 2 weeks or more. Can you imagine if he would've ran after that? Goodbye June.

Let's get some trainers in there that can prevent silly injuries or at least recognize them.

Fukudome's Real Uniform

2009-03-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

Reason 10 Why We'll Never Win
Apparently Fukudome HAS been on his game this whole time. All those majestic pirouettes at the plate. Technically flawless spins, effortlessly executed at the very front of the batters box while hard objects whiz by at 80 mph. That would be like asking Mikhail Baryshnikov to execute a perfect routine on sand while an angry crowd throws vodka bottles at him.

And yet pitch after pitch Kosuke stood in there and spun and spun until we were all dizzy, no doubt aided by what he wore underneath the pinstripes and road greys and what was cut up and glued into 100 Ultimate Collection Rookie Jersey Cards.

A pink tutu. Outstanding. No wonder Lou played him in Game 1 and 2 against the Dodgers. Who would wait till December when you could see The Nutcraker in October?

Goat, 1 Billion Chickens Unite to Curse Cubs

2009-03-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Reason Why We'll Never Win
It's pretty bad when a statue associated with losing and fried chicken is pulled out of a river half the world away and the first thing those foreigners think of is "Hey, Give it to the Cubs!"

Even worse is having PETA - those fine folks who can read the thoughts of animals (but only the negative ones) - send an "urgent" letter to your front office threatening the animosity of every chicken ever abused by KFC if the statue is accepted. http://blog.peta.org/archives/2009/03/chicago_cubs.php?c=pfccsb09

I guess 25 years ago fans celebrating the Hanshin Tigers championship win chucked a statue of Colonel Sanders into the river outside the stadium. The statue was recently pulled out and apparently offered to the Cubs to help them throw of the curse of a goat??

PETA's urgent letter asks the Cubs to not accept the statue and claims that - " if a monument to the ultimate symbol of cruelty to animals—KFC's Colonel Sanders—is accepted by the Cubs, it could unleash a curse whose wrath is too terrible to contemplate."

Frankly, I don't give a rats ass about the wrath of a billion chickens (I find them finicky with no attention to detail) or one measly goat but together who knows what carnage these two un-related species could wreak on Sweet Lou's carefully constructed Righty-Lefty lineup. Any Cub fan who has ever had a goat cheese omelette or had a breakfast gyro knows these two species teaming up are dynamite... We are doomed.

ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!

2009-03-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

Reason 8 Why We'll Never Win
It took our wrinkle-wrapped manager half a coronary to get our third-highest-paid team in the majors to win 1 of their last 7 games.

Lou has maybe 10 more good outbursts in him before something gives out so we can't afford to waste these precious-few remaining jolts of Sweet Lou juice during the first half of spring training. I mean seriously - 5'8" Fontenot is leading the team in HRs.

C'mon guys! Save Sweet Lou. Find some motivation outside of an angry old man.

HOFFpower misses chance

2009-03-05T17:52:00.000-08:00

Reason 7 Why We'll Never Win
Micah Hoffpauir will be from now on known as HOFFpower! Here's why...

1. He's old, just like the real Hoff - David Hasselhoff - but is still a "rookie."
2. He is batting almost .500 in spring training so far and has waaay more power than DLEE.
3. I can't spell his real last name and its phonetic spelling is HOFFpower.
4. He has awful hair so any of Hoff's do's would be an upgrade (see pic)

Anyway - HOFFpower had a chance to tie the game against the Sox today in the late innings but flew out on the second pitch. The man is having an amazing spring so far and still went 1-2 but clutch hits are what managers remember when rosters are written.

OTHER NOTES Fontenot is KILLING the ball. Doubles, Triples, HRs - you name it. This kid is lights out. Paging Aaron Miles - your bench spot is here.

Milton Bradley Sets Cub Record!

2009-03-04T18:34:00.001-08:00

Reason 6 Why We'll Never Win ...
Unfortunately the new Cub record was for Consecutive At-Bats by Milton Bradley Without An Injury. The previous record of one at-bat is now three at-bats.

OTHER NOTES
Chad Gaudin didn't help his cause today though he has plenty more chances. He gave up three doubles and a homerun in his three-inning performance. Still a shot for Waddell yet!

Pitchers are looking too good too early

2009-03-03T18:32:00.000-08:00

Reason 5 Why We'll Never Win
One week into Spring Training and we've already got the rotation set - save the 5th spot - and it looks really, really good. After his performance today, facing only 9 batters in 3 innings of work, LHP Sean Marshall made great strides and seriously made up for his last lackluster outing. Being as how he's a lefty AND younger AND been around, this has to put him ahead of newly acquired RHP Aaron Hielman for the rotation spot.

So what does that leave in the bullpen?
On paper - it looks like it still leaves a lot. I want to see more of Hielman but so far he's looked great with only 1 hit and 4 Ks.

RHP Jff Smrdjzgd has looked the worst of the three potential 5th starters (3 BB and only 1 K!!) but he gets his second outing tomorrow. Potential closers RHP Carlos Marmol and RHP Kevin Gregg have only pitched 2 innings each but are looking good. Marmol has fewer hits and more Ks but gave up a run.

Who's been looking good and still up for the remaining 3 slots?
LHP Neal Cotts is one of the only lefties and has been cruising.
RHP Kevin Hart will have to pitch his way off the squad and so far he has stayed put.
RHP Chad Gaudin has struggled a little early but will have to lose his spot and hasn't yet. RHP Chad Fox has been solid but he's old as dirt and he's a righty. RHP Jeff Stevens has also been solid coming over in the DeRosa trade. He's my dark horse pick.
LHP Jason Waddell is the only other lefty so there's an outside chance if he can keep his walks down.
RHP Marcos Mateo has 2Ks and 0 hits in 2 innings but won't be making the leap.
RHP David Patton is throwing strikes but also isn't in the running.

OTHER NOTES
Fukudome will be in CF against righties according to Sweet Lou.
Soriano, Ramirez and Jake Fox all homered. Fox's defense is hurting him though.
DAY 4 OF BRADLEY'S BEDSIDE WATCH!!!

Our Backup Catchers Stink

2009-02-27T15:27:00.000-08:00

Reason 4 Why We'll Never Win
If you count Lee, Soriano, Ramirez, Bradley, Soto, Theriot and Fukudome as already on the team, then that leaves probably 6 spots left. I ranked the rest of the guys at spring training so far on their batting/other and it's interesting to see that everyone doing well (besides Fontenot) are OF/1B. I guess that's what we need. Hopefully one of these 1B guys can play third!

GAME NOTES
Lilly pitched really well (finally a starter acting like it) and the bats came alive with Hoffpauir (2), Fuld (1) and even little Lord Fontenot (1) getting into the HR Act. Jake Fox continues to impress.

DAY 1 OF BRADLEY'S BEDSIDE WATCH!!!

New Cubs Edition "Operation"

2009-02-26T18:48:00.000-08:00

Reason 3 Why We'll Never Win

Milton Bradley left the game today with tightness in his leg after earning a walk in his first at bat. Wow. I know we didn't expect 162 games out of the man but one at bat?

On the bright side, we beat the hapless Brewers. Their pitching looks even worse than it does on paper. Our young pick up Gathright got things going around the basepaths and 1B Jake Fox cracked a 3-run homer.

OTHER NOTES
- Sean Marshall did not look too hot in his debut and loaded up the bases before getting out of the inning...
- Mike Stanton - who's like 40 years old is trying to make the Cubs roster but i don't see it happening. He got crushed when he served up his fastball to Rivera. Probably not much left on that bad boy...

The Return of Wally Pipp

2009-02-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

Reason 2: Why We'll Never Win

You'd think the one thing Cub fans could part with easily is the past. But the past seems to be the main factor in fielding the team year after year. I love my old Cubs but Hendry needs to let go. Take today for instance.

Derrek Lee was 0-1 with a walk. That's fine. It's the first game of the year and he laid off a close pitch to take that walk so i'm happy. His .291 and 20 HRs last year were fine too, but he's not the cornerstone of the franchise and he's not a power guy any more.

Now guess which perennial callup went yard with the bases juiced to win the game 5-3? Backup 1B Micah Hoffpauir. He did hit into a DP but whatever - DLEE nearly led the league in that category last year.

I'll take Hoffpauir's .342 in 73 ABs for the Cubs on top of a .362 Avg and 25 HRs! in only 71 AAA games.

I don't even want to talk about Dempster's 4 YEAR $52 MILLION!!! WHAT?!? At the time, that was double both the money or time of the next closest deal.

Maybe that DLEE jersey IS slimming on him, but unless Hendry stops loving the past, we won't like the future.

OTHER NOTES
Szmzrdja was over-throwing in his 2 innings of work but got out of a bases-loaded jam with a nifty 1-2-3 double play. It's nice to have athletes on the field.

It was Ron Santo's Bday. Jim Hendry yelled up well-wishes along with a number of fans.

Reason 1 Why We'll Never Win:

2008-10-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

Cub fans care more about the announcer than the team

Can you blame us? After 1o1 years of getting excited about trades and signings that didn't make a bit of difference, we have developed a curious attention to who talks us off the ledge.

Currently, the giddy excitement of Ron Santo's triumphant shouts and dejected sighs in place of Bob Brenly has The Cub Fan more excited to hear This Old Cub triumph over objectivity on television than worried at the prospect of a World Series-winning manager moving over to coach the division-upstart Brewers.

And somehow this makes perfect sense.

Haray Carey had a crazy drunken passion that made me want to raise a glass, somehow making me feel like things were ok even in the darkest years. That happy/positive drunk that only comes from Hamms-in-the-can or a day game at Wrigley.

Steve Stone was great too. His negativity was spared on no one and he said what we were all thinking. He would rain down stinging rebukes from the booth and question every decision the way every Cub Fan does from the barstool, but deep down, we knew he really loved the Cubs - in a tough-love sort of way.

Brenly is fine. He announces a good analytical game without letting his emotions for the Cubs get the better of him and that's why The Cub Fan was so excited to hear he could be leaving - even if it was to the Brewers.

Santo would have been another in a long line of speak-your-mind, wear your love on your sleeve, cheer when we win Cub announcers that make 201 years not seem that long.

Cubs should re-think their logo...

2008-05-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Hitters: Check!
At the top of the league in Runs, Hits, Total Bases, RBI and OPS. Top five in almost every other catagory. Even Soriano was 2-4 the other night.

Closer: Check!
Wood has been looking better and better. Downright electric in his last outing against the Reds on the anniversary of his 20 strikeout game.

Bullpen: Check.
Marmol is the class here. Hitters miss when they swing at his crazy movement and he doesn't miss the strikezone. They could shore up a few more spots but hopefully new call ups Fox and Gallahger can help.

Starters: Check.
Outside of Dempster and Zambrano there is a bit of woe in Cubville about the starters. Lilly hasn't done much this year and Marquis is on and off. Other problems persist but through it all the Cubs are in the top 5 and even 3 of most pitching catagories in the NL!

Defense: ...
With a solid infield corps and a fast and armed outfield with a gun-toting catcher the Cubs have the best ... wait - WHAT?!? We're 5th in errors some of which have cost us more than a few un-earned runs - !!5 the other day against Dempster !! No wonder our ERA is looking so good. This is bush-league.

Soriano: Joker or Jacker or BOTH?

2008-05-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

I did some quick math in my head and decided that Soriano has to hit 4 HRs AND steal at least one base for every fly ball he drops.

IF he was still hitting homers - he got one the other night and IF he steals bases - he stole one today and IF he gets on base in the lead-off spot - no signs of this BTW - then he can open up a lemonade stand in left for all I care.

That's a lot of ifs but I do love lemonade...

Tricky SI Curses Cubs in Japanese!

2008-05-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to say anything.

After seeing the latest SI cover highlighting Fukudome and the Cubs proclaiming that "It's Gonna Happen" I decided to keep my mouth shut. Ignore it. Don't even pick the damn thing up! Maybe the jinx wouldn't land on the Northside.

After all, the Cubbies had been on a hot streak since Alphonso Soriano hopped onto the DL and Reed Johnson took over centerfield/leadoff duties. The Cubs were near the top of the league in OBP, team BA and wins. Even Jason Marquis was starting to pitch well.

But now that the jinx seems in full effect - I thought I'd actually touch the magazine and to my horror discovered SI's little trick.

It wasn't Sweet Lou's insistence on batting Soriano in the leadoff spot - OR - Alphonso's shaky fielding. It wasn't even Kerry Wood's tenuous hold on the closer role. It actually had nothing to do with the Cubs at all. SI did this to the Cubs on purpose.

On the SI cover the Japanese text supposedly said "It's Gonna Happen" but after brushing off my "Japanese for Sailors" manual the translating error was exposed.

"Great, Now We're F#@ked"

Thank you SI and all you Cardinal fans who must be working in SIs binding factories. You certainly aren't writers.

You got us this time but we'll be back. As soon as Soriano's hamstring pops - look out!